Am reading the portion of the psychology textbook about depression. Sometimes I really do feel proud of myself for getting over year 2010 and going through the A's in my room plastered with post-its. With the support of mainly my parents and two friends and a teacher. I often forget to pass on this love to others, to people who need help now.

There was one friend who really stood by me then, though we no longer talk to each other. I read alot about others' experiences. I want to remember my serious escapism problems, how I used to cry everyday, all those defense mechanisms. Excessive writing into the night and falling asleep in school the next day, thinking far too much, over sensitivity. Convincing my mom to bring me to the clinic to check for sleep disorder just because I wanted a reason for my tiredness, one that I didn't have to be held responsible for. I just didn't want to sleep at night. And strangely liking the sadness I feel because it makes me think, and thinking made me feel less inferior to others. I talk about them like they're nothing now, because they're of the past. But I certainly do not want to forget, not like I can forget anyway.

And there's the one teacher I really must thank, I wouldn't have gotten over anything without him, or my father. They probably shape my views of 'an ideal person'. I'm happy I'm here now. I must make full use of my opportunities here, do what I can. Most importantly, always be grateful and pass the love on.

Today I stared at the mirror, thinking about how strange it is that this person, with the certain combination of facial features, is staring back at you - and that person is you. It feels strange to live, and be able to see and feel yourself living life. I wouldn't say life is wonderful, but I don't mind being here and contributing as a life form on this planet. I don't know why we exist, and I do not know why we need emotions, but as long as we do, we should just fulfill our role as humans and.. do things.